New White Stripes Box Set: Making You Go 'Bone Broke'

Mark your calendars: The White Stripes will deck more than your halls this year. In fact, the new White Stripes box set is sure to deck a few hundred people in the wallet.

It's been more than three years since the White Stripes released the oddball Icky Thump, and now Jack White is releasing something pretty damn ambitious for pre-order on Dec. 1.

The new box set contains:

• White Stripes portable record player
• Record boxes for both LP/7" formats
• Peppermint-designed Nixon headphones
• Peppermint slip mat
• Red-vinyl "Merry Christmas from the White Stripes" single
• Three 45 adapters

Wow. Now all it needs is an actual record. You may be asking yourself, "How much does this 'deluxe' — to say the least — package cost exactly?"

Well my friend, you're in luck. If you're one of the 333 people that may spend a mere $499, this pretty little number can be all yours. But even if you're one in the vast, VAST majority of people that think this may be a little bit of overkill for your holiday, take solace in Jack White's recent words to Vanity Fair:

"We thought we'd do a lot of things that we'd never done: a full tour of Canada, a documentary, coffee-table book, live album, a boxed set. It was one long project that took almost three years. Now that we've gotten a lot of that out of our system, Meg and I can get back in the studio and start fresh."

Oh, so that's how they're playing it: "12 Days of Christmas" style. On the first day of Christmas, the White Stripes gave to me, a whole bunch of stuff I don't need.

I'm guessing by the twelfth day, I'll get what I've really wanted for three years now: a new record. Seriously, how good could this box set possibly be?

Holy shit. Okay, but seriously, who needs three 45 adapters?